As I reach the one-sixth mark of my senior year, I have begun to realize that a distinct shift has occurred in the way that I look at school. Before this year, I had viewed education and academics in general as a way to distinguish yourself from the people around you by earning higher marks than them. What better way for a college recruiter of employer to decide whether or not you meet their standards than by comparing your scores to their benchmarks? This philosophy dominated my first three years at Burlingame High School, and I still hold that frame of mind in some instances.
However, taking four AP courses has rudely awoken me from this bubble that I used to be contain in. For once, earning a high grade is not enough, as a true understanding of the concept is necessary to succeed in my classes. This Literature class is a prime example of this, since all of the essays I have written so far (which also take up the majority of the grades in this class) demand that the writer command their knowledge of the work in front of him or her and demonstrate that he or she truly identifies with the text. While other classes I had taken before had attempted to create this effect, I had never truly experienced this feeling or complexity and confusion I feel during some of the units. Ultimately, this struggle will make me stronger and prepare me for whatever beckons me in the future, but for the moment I am just striving to stay afloat.
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